


My Heart in Your Hands

by Flaming_dumpster



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Christmas Decorations, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Tree, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-04 23:13:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16798957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flaming_dumpster/pseuds/Flaming_dumpster
Summary: A collection of moments that lead them to where they are now





	My Heart in Your Hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saltandrockets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltandrockets/gifts).



> So I decided to try a writing style I've never done before *Hides in a tree nervously*
> 
> I tried to catch all the spelling errors, but I'm not perfect so there is a good chance I missed a few

In early January of that year, Brendol Hux had found out about his son’s long-term relationship with none other than Ben Solo, the son of the councilwoman that had nearly ruined his not-entirely-legal business dealings. He had screamed and yelled until he was blue in the face, but Armitage had calmly sat through all of it completely unfazed, not lettings single word bother him. That night, after his father had gone to bed, Hux had called Ben to tell him what had happened.

“I would be a lot happier if you moved out of there.” Ben had told him.

“Come and help me pack tomorrow, he leaves for work at seven thirty.” Hux didn’t even need to think twice. The next day, just ten minutes after Brendol had left for work, Hux had opened the front door to find Ben along with Han and Leia. Ben’s uncle Luke and cousin Rey were still in the driveway pulling piles of flattened boxes from Han’s tuck.

“I told mom what happened, and she insisted on helping,” Ben explained. Ben’s family had always been very welcoming and supportive of him, and them being there without his asking only made him smile and feel warm inside.

“The more the merrier.” He said while standing aside to let everyone in. He was fully packed and all the boxes were stacked into either Han’s truck or Luke’s minivan in under four hours. Ben agreed to go with Hux in his car so they hung back and watched as the two vehicles drove off.

“I guess we should get going as well,” Ben said.

“Not quite yet, there’s one more thing I want to do before we leave.” Hux took Ben’s hand and lead him back inside.

“Is it something I can help with?” asked Ben.

“I would prefer if you did, but you don’t have to.” Hux opened the door to Brendol’s bedroom, bringing Ben with him as he approached the bed, “I want to leave a mess behind for him to clean.” Hux sat down on the edge of the bed, curling his fingers around Ben’s belt to pull him closer until he was standing between Hux’s legs.

Ben grinned, “I love it when you’re petty,” he had said, crawling onto the bed to join him.

\----------

It wasn't until March, nearing three months since Hux had moved into Ben's family home, that they passed the idea of getting their own place between each other. They carefully weighed their options, neither of them wanting to rush into anything. In the end, they both decided this was the right move and began the search.

Just two weeks later they were back to packing boxes but this time Ben's possessions were mixed with Hux’s. They found a spacious new apartment just on the edge of the city. Another three weeks and the two of them had officially moved in.

That first night could only be described as cold. Their sweaters were in one of the many boxes stacked in the little walk-in closet and neither of them felt like unstacking and searching for them. Neither of them could figure out how to get the electric fireplace to start, and the power would only work in one of the rooms. Han speculated that the power had been shut off for a while since the apartment was vacant before they moved in. Considering it was much too late in the evening to call the building electrician, Ben tasked himself with digging out as many blankets as he could find while Hux made hot chocolate over the thankfully-functional-stove.

They didn’t have any furniture yet, just the air mattress that Leia had sent over, so Ben set about making a giant nest out of the seven blankets he’d located. He grabbed Hux’s laptop, which was much larger and perfect for watching movies, and placed it on a stack off boxes next to the mattress as he sat in the middle of his blanket nest. Hux joined him after a few minutes and handed him a soup bowl.

“I couldn’t find the mugs.” Hux had explained as he picked a movie for them to watch. By their third movie of the night, they moved so they were both lying down, enveloped in the blankets. Ben had one arm wrapped around Hux’s shoulder, while Hux rested his head on Ben’s chest with his arm draped across Ben’s torso. By the middle of the movie, Ben noticed Hux had started softly snoring, and so he ignored the rest of the film in favor of watching his beautiful boyfriend’s eyelashes fluttering in his sleep.

\----------

In June they held their first dinner party, inviting Han and Leia, Luke and Rey, as well as Rey’s boyfriend Finn. Hux took charge of the cooking. Ben tried to help a much as he could but aside from peeling potatoes and cutting peppers, he would only end up in Hux’s way. Over dinner, they spoke of work and weather and whatever miscellaneous topics that happened to come up. After dessert, everyone migrated to the living room, where they continued to speak and laugh and enjoy each others company.

At one point, Hux excused himself to go to the washroom, but Ben began to worry when he had been gone much longer than usual. Feeling concerned, he excused himself to check on Hux and was shocked to find him leaning over the sink of their ensuite with tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

“Hux,” He called softly, not wanting to startle him, “is everything okay?” Hux nodded then tilted his head back to keep the tears from slipping down his face.

“I’m okay, I just…” Hux paused and sniffled, “Your family is…” He sighed, unsure of how to put the words together.

Ben reached for one of Hux’s hands, sandwiching it between both of his, “Are they overwhelming you? I can ask them to leave if they’re too much.” 

“No, no it’s not that,” Hux shook his head. The tears broke loose and trailed down his face, “That’s your family out there. Your family is great, I love them, I really do, but it’s just reminding me of what I don’t have.” Ben pulled him into a gentle hug as Hux’s tears began to flow more freely despite his best efforts. “I don’t have any aunts or uncles, my mother has been gone for years, and my own father would be more likely to run me over with a car than try and reconnect with me. Part of me has always known, but I’ve only now come to realize that I don’t have a family anymore.”

Ben pressed a kiss to Hux's forehead, letting his lips linger for a moment before pulling away to speak, “Babe, that’s just not true.” He spoke just barely above a whisper. “You do have a family, Hux. It’s a weird family, and they fight sometimes, but they make things work. They’re welcoming, warm-hearted, and supportive, and they’re sitting in our living room. That crazy bunch of people out there is your family as much as they are mine. And they love you, Armitage Hux. I love you. You are my family.”

“Ben,” Hux’s tears were for a completely different wave of emotion, “I love you too, you sentimental oaf.” A laugh forced its way through him, unable to fight it.

“Are you sure you want them to stay? They'll understand if we ask them to leave.” Ben offered again.

Hux shook his head, smiling despite that dampness on his cheeks, “I'm okay, I'll be out in a minute. You go first.” Ben nodded, giving him a soft smile before turning back to the living room. No one said anything about his absence as he sat back in his place at the couch, but the look that passed between him and Leia told him that somehow she knew. A mother’s intuition perhaps.

True to his word, Hux appeared around the corner not long after Ben had returned. He watched as Hux stood there leaning on the wall for a moment, letting his eye’s pause on each occupant of the room. When his eye’s met with Ben’s, a genuine smile spread across his face and he moved forward to reclaim his spot next to Ben.

Looking back on the moment, this may have been when Ben knew for sure if only subconsciously.

\----------

In August, they realized they hadn't chosen a favorite spot in their new neighborhood. Something like a diner, or a café. They had one in every other neighborhood they had been to and decided it was time they chose one around here as well.

It had been an innocent enough walk, strolling together as they kept an eye open for a coffee shop or café. It was Hux that spotted it first.

“Cat,” he stated as he stopped walking. Ben glanced around, eyes landing across the street from where Hux was looking.

“Java Kat café? That sounds promising.” Said Ben.

“What? Oh, yeah that too but, cat!” Said Hux, pulling Ben toward a window on their side of the street. The sign above it read _Animal Rescue and Adoption Centre,_ and through the window, they could see a volunteer playing with a litter of kittens.

It didn't take long for Hux to drag Ben into the reception room to ask about them. It was Hux that ended up sitting on the floor with the volunteer, dancing a toy mouse on a string around the heads of the kittens, while Ben learned that the mother was a stray who had become very sick and died despite the rescue's best efforts. Ben couldn't take his eyes off Hux, the way his face lit up with joy, grinning ear to ear, eyes shining brighter than any star in existence.

“Ben, look!” He was already looking, full witness to the tiny ball of orange fuzz that clambered it's way into Hux's lap only to flop and flail as it misstepped and tumbled into the space between Hux's crossed legs.

Ben knew it wasn't usually a good idea to impulse buy an animal, but they specifically chose to live in a pet-friendly building because they had talked about the possibility of getting a pet together. With that in mind, he leaned towards the receptionist without taking his eyes off Hux and the orange kitten and whispered, “That one.”

Hux finally returned to Ben when the kittens had to be taken awake for feeding and nap time. He handed Hux a pen and held up the forms he had been filling out for the adoption of the orange She-kit, “You'll need to sign this too.” Ben said, and he would never forget the look on Hux's face at that moment before he nearly suffocated in a bone-crushing hug.

The kittens were too young to leave the rescue yet. They would have to wait three weeks, so they got everything they were going to need ready in the meantime. Ben wasn't one to tell lies to his boyfriend, but he did bend the truth a little bit, telling him they would be able to pick up the kitten on Thursday. When Hux arrived home from work on Tuesday, Ben was sitting on the floor waiting for him, cradling the fuzz ball in his hands. Hux smiled and sat with him on the floor, without changing out of his work clothes.

\----------

October brought a cold chill with it. With it came a wave of illness that swept through the area as people caught colds and passed them on like hot potatoes. Ben was one such victim. The first couple nights, he insisted on sleeping on the couch to keep Hux from getting sick. Whenever Hux came close to check on him, he would protest and complain and send him away. Hux would huff in annoyance and storm off after a while of Ben's fighting, which left Ben feeling both guilty and relieved. The last thing he wanted to do was pass whatever bug he had onto Hux.

But Hux had had enough of it.

He waited until Ben was just starting to wake up from a nap before making his move. He approached the couch, dropped to his knees, grabbed Ben's face, and kissed Ben like a starving man devouring a meal. Ben, still disoriented from having just woke up, groaned softly as he brought his hand up to slide into Hux’s hair, but Hux pulled away abruptly and stormed off toward the kitchen.

“There. Whatever you have, I now have too. If I get sick so be it, nothing we can do about it now!” He stated, almost angrily, over his shoulder. Ben’s eyes widened as he slowly realized what Hux had done.

With great effort, he pushed himself up onto his elbows, “Hux, why would you—” He was cut off by his own cough.

“Because, _Benjamin_ ,” Hux stalked back into the living room with a hot water bottle tucked under his arm while holding a bowl of steaming soup and a large glass of water. “I am not going to sit around and do nothing while the man I love is unable to care for himself.” He set the water and soup down on the coffee table aggressively. Somehow, he managed to not spill a drop but bang of them hitting the table was enough to make Millicent, the almost grown kitten, startle awake from where she was napping on the loveseat. “If you weren't so damn stubborn and just accepted my help from the beginning, you would probably be feeling better already.”

Despite the aggression in his voice, his actions were delicate. Slowly assisting Ben into a sitting position, he pulled the blanket up onto his shoulders and gently placed the hot water bottle in his arms. Ben sighed softly and hugged it closer as the chill that seemed to be embedded in his bones partially faded. Hux sat next to him and hand fed as much soup as he could stomach while making sure he also drank lots of water. Once Ben had eaten his fill, Hux moved so that he was behind Ben, holding him close to share his own body heat. Ben snuggled down into the warmth as they watched a movie. Although Hux was still using sharp words, his actions were speaking so much louder.

It was in that moment that Ben, consciously, knew for sure.

\----------

December came in a blink of an eye, and the mini interior designer in Hux that picked most of the items in the apartment came back in full swing with the return of Christmas decorations in stores. When Ben returned from work, there was a little wreath hanging on the front of the apartment door. Inside, the coasters on the coffee table had been replaced with candy cane striped coasters, Millicent’s black collar had been swapped out for a red and silver one, and there was a poinsettia in every room. It seemed as though a department store catalog had exploded in the apartment, but Hux managed to keep it tasteful and not too over the top. Ben found Hux attaching a big red bow to the center of the fire mantle.

“I hope you left something for me to decorate,” said Ben.

“We still need a tree don’t we?” Hux grinned over his shoulder. Ben gave him a fake pout,

“You’re not going to make me do that by my lonesome little self, are you?” He asked, wrapping his arms around Hux’s middle.

“First of all, there is nothing little about you,” Hux said. Ben wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, earning a smack on the arm. “I was referring more to your height, muscle mass, and ears.” Hux leaned up to kiss one such ear as Ben barked with laughter.

“Alright, so when are we getting the tree?” asked Ben as they separated. 

“We’re both off tomorrow, so I figured we could go buy a tree and ornaments all at once.”Said Hux, making his way to the kitchen.

“Okay,” Ben pulled out his phone, “I’ll search for a tree place now.”

“That reminds me, I meant to ask you what you think about getting a fake tree? It might save time, and it wouldn’t be as messy. We could use it again next year too.”

Ben thought it over for a moment before shaking his head. He had big plans and needed everything to be how he envisioned it. “Maybe next year, but this is our first Christmas in our own place, so we should experience it all. That includes the smell of fresh pine and sweeping up pine needles every other day.”

“Actually, it would more likely be a fir or spruce tree. Many pine tree varieties would be too sparse when it comes to branch density.” Hux said.

Ben stared at him for a moment, “Why do you know that?”

Hux shrugged one shoulder, “Sometimes I google things.”

\----------

“We are not stringing up popcorn to put on the tree.”

Ben gasped theatrically, “And just why not?”

“We are not leaving food out on a tree for 3 weeks, that’s how we end up with a mouse infestation.” Hux picked up two sets of tree decorations, comparing the contents of each.

“That’s where Millie comes in. She can become the official mouse catcher.” Ben said.

“Oh god, she would get so fat. She definitely doesn’t need mice added to her diet, I know you give her extra treats while I'm at work.” Hux narrowed his eyes at Ben, who turned bright red.

“I can’t help it, she's so sweet I just have to spoil her,” Ben said, avoiding eye contact. “All right, fine, I’ll go easy on the treats. Can we get tinsel instead?”

“Of course, as long as it matched the rest of the decorations. Now help me pick,” Hux held up the to boxes. “Blue and silver, or red and gold?” He smiled as Ben leaned over his shoulder to get a better look.

“The blue is nice, but I prefer the red.” Said Ben, plucking the box from Hux’s hand to add it to the shopping cart.

“Hurry and pick your tinsel, I want to get lunch before we go get the tree,” Hux said.

\----------

When they had picked the tree out that afternoon, it had seemed like the perfect tree. However, now that it was standing in the middle of the living room, it was teetering on the edge of too large. It stood as tall as both of them and was very wide. Ben examined his side of the tree for a moment then glanced at the last box of decorations. “Hey, babe?”

Hux stuck his head around the tree, “Yeah?”

“I don’t think we have enough decorations to properly cover the tree.” Said Ben, holding up the nearly empty box they had picked out that morning.

“I guess we went a bit overboard with the size of the tree, huh?” Hux said. Ben gave him a pointed look. “Okay, okay, _I_ went a bit overboard. You were right, the smaller tree would have been plenty.” Ben hadn’t done much to object the size of the tree. Sure, Ben did have a habit of spoiling his boyfriend, but he had been feeling a bit sentimental the last few weeks, resulting in even more than usual. His plan was in motion and he grew both more nervous and excited by the day.

Just a few more details to iron out, and it would be perfect.

\----------

When Hux arrived home that night, He found Ben seated on the floor in front of the Christmas tree with Millicent on his lap and a box in front of him. He wore a pair of soft grey sweatpants and a black tank top that showed off his arms. Ben’s hair had grown out quite a bit since it had last been cut and it was pulled back into a low half ponytail. Hux couldn’t place his finger on it, but something about Ben looked regal.

“Hey,” he called as he entered the living room, “you're home early, I thought I would be home before you.”

“I thought so too, but there was zero traffic on the way home, I just got in not too long ago.” Ben smiled and waved him over. “I told mom about our lack-of-decoration situation. It seems she’s put together a box of ornaments for our tree.”

Hux looked into the box, and sure enough, it was full of older ornaments. Some faded, with paint peeling or chipped. “That's sweet of her, I’ll be sure to call her later to thank her.”

Ben reached into the box and pulled out a wooden Santa. Its red suit was faded a bit, and it was the size of his fist. “She carefully picked each one as well, there is a lot of memories in here. My fourth-grade teacher gave me this. She got one for every student in the class.” Ben handed the Santa to Hux so he could get a better look.

“It’s lovely, looks like it was handmade,” said Hux, as he turned to place it on the tree. When he turned back around, Ben was holding out a tiny snowman made entirely of beads,

“I made this in grade six. We got to pick between a snowman or a candy cane.”

Hux smiled, picturing a small Ben making Christmas decorations in a classroom. They continued like that for a while, Ben reminiscing while Hux listened intently.

“Every year, one of mom’s friends would send us a snowflake. I didn’t really care for the others, but I was obsessed with this one red one for whatever reason.”

“Apparently when I was a baby I would use these toy candy cane things a teething rings. You can still kinda see small teeth marks in them.”

“I always thought this dove was so beautiful. I would always be extremely careful with it cause I didn’t want it to break.” 

As Hux took the dove Ben was holding out to him, he couldn’t help but notice the way Ben was watching him. There was something there he couldn’t quite place. He turned away to pace the dove on the tree, and as he did he heard Ben shuffling around behind him. Turning back, Hux’s breathe caught in his throat when he saw Ben kneeling with one knee touching the floor.

“Ben?”

“I wasn’t supposed to do this now. I was going to do this on new years eve, or maybe Christmas, but watching you now I… I can’t wait any longer.” Ben said as he reached into his pocket. “We both know I’m not great at preparing speeches so bare with me, cause I’m just kinda winging this. People say love is about being sure, but I find that often times I’m not sure. I’m not sure of what I would do if you were no longer by my side, I’m not sure of what I would think about if you didn’t occupy my mind all day every day. One thing I do know for absolute certainty is that I never want to find out. I want you by my side for the rest of my life, if you’ll have me. You hold my heart in your hands, always have.” Ben opened the little box in his hand. The ring inside was silver in the middle with rose gold wrapped around the sides.

Hux sank to his knees in front of Ben, not trusting his legs to keep him upright, “Yes.“ He whispered.

Ben chuckled, “I haven’t asked yet.”

“If you don’t, I will.”

“Armitage Hux?”

“Yes.”

“Will you make me the luckiest man alive,...”

“Yes.”

“And give me the greatest honor,...”

“Yes."

“Of becoming my husband?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the word "fluff" and ran a whole marathon with it by mistake
> 
> saltandrockets, I hope this is to your liking!


End file.
